The Bare Necessities

Does anyone else have the song from Disney’s Jungle Book stuck in their head now? You’re welcome.

Another Amazon.co.uk package arrived at my doorstep after my run today (where John kicked my butt), and I couldn’t remembered what I ordered. That’s a bad sign, right? It’s far too easy to click the “add to cart” button, especially the week after payday.

In my defense, it’s things we needed:

An electronic toothbrush. Ours finally fizzled out. I’m still not sure whether you’re supposed to use an adapter or converter with that kind of gadget, so we just alternated. The charging light on our American toothbrush took on a sort of strobe light effect that never turned off, like a 24-hour dance club or something. And the sound it’d make would frequently turn from a soothing “I’m cleaning your teeth” hum to an “I’m….dying….Heeeeey back to normal….HE- E -E -LP” screech. Anyway, we are now the proud owners of a British Oral B. Its technology leaves much to be desired, like all electronics I’ve used here so far (seriously, vacuums here are just glorified brooms). But it does the job.

Cat harnesses and leads. That’s the term for leash. We may be trying to compromise with Zora and Icarus’s yearning for the great outdoors and being overly protective about our babies. However, the cars zoom down our street like they’re in a police chase, and our neighbor’s cat died from being an idiot who ran into the road. Our babies are idiots, too. Adorable idiots, but idiots nonetheless. Zora doesn’t mind it, and Icarus hides under the bed when he sees his collar. That leaves us at about a net zero in terms of success. I’ll take it.

Organic apple cider vinegar. 5 litres of it, to be exact. With “the mother.” I try not to buy into folksy pseudoscience; the Braggs’ website looks like Geocities vomit, but you do have to give them credit for enthusiasm. And unfortunately there isn’t a lot of scientific research extolling the virtues of the “contains active enymes” stuff. But I prefer to cook/clean with the most natural stuff, so that’s why I now have 5 litres of Biona ACV on my windowsill. Sorry in advance for smelling like old apple cider, John!

I’m saving the best for last: a little Honeywell fan. My previous employer would be proud. Anyway, it’s not to combat the stifling British heat. It’s to help us sleep through the night– a distracting, meditative sound to combat the tickticktick ta-ta-tickticktick of our temperamental boiler that’s displayed openly in the bedroom. We finally sleep through the entire night!

Anyway.

Now that I’v wasted a half hour rambling about cats, vinegar, and dental hygiene, I should get back to my freelance stuff that’s, as always, due tomorrow.

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